Postitatud: 20 Apr, 2006 0:58
[Original letter in French]
Dear Aunt [Tatyana Yergolskaya],
[---]
Today one of those things happened to me which would have made be believe in God if I hadn’t already believed in Him firmly for sometime.
During the summer in (stary Yurt), all the officers who were there did nothing but gamble, and for quite high stakes. Since it's impossible not to see each other often when living in camp, I was very often present during the play, but despite all the entreaties I refrained from joining in for a month. Then one fine day I jokingly placed a small stake—I lost; I did it again and lost again; I had bad luck; my passion for gambling for aroused, and in two days I lost all the money I had as well what Nikolay gave me (about 250 silver roubles) and on top of that 500 silver roubles for which I gave ea note of hand payable in the month of January 1852. I should tell you that near the camp there is an (aul) [Caucasian village] where the (Chechens) live. A young boy (a (Chechen)) named (Sado) used to come to the camp and play; but as he couldn't count or write things down, there were some scoundrels among the officers who cheated him. For this reason I never wanted to play against Sado, and even told him that he oughtn't to play because he was being cheated, and I offered to play on his behalf. He was very grateful to me for this and made me a present of a purse. As it's the custom of this people to exchange presents, I gave him a miserable gun that I'd bought for 8 roubles. I should tell you that to be a (kunak), that's to say a friend, it's the custom first of all to exchange presents and then to eat in the house of the (kunak). After that, according to ancient custom of this people (which hardly survives now except in tradition), you become friends for life and death: i.e. if I ask him for all his money, or his wife, or his arms, or his most precious belongings, he must give them to me, and I must fuse him nothing either. Sado made me promise to come to his home and be his (kunak). I went. After having regaled me in their own manner, he invited me to choose anything in his house that I wanted: his arms, his horse, anything. I wanted to choose what was of least value, and took a horse bridle mounted in silver: but he told me I was offending him and made me take a (saber) which is worth at least 100 silver roubles. His father is quite a rich man, but he keeps his money buried and doesn't give his son a farthing. To obtain money the son goes and robs the enemy of horses and cows and sometimes he risks his life 20 times over to steal something that isn't worth 10 roubles; be he does it, not from greed, but because it's the thing to do. The greatest robber is highly esteemed and is called (a dzhigit, a brave). Sometimes Sado gas 1,000 silver roubles, and sometimes he hasn't a farthing. After my visit to him I presented him Nikolay's silver watch and we've become the greatest friends in the world. Several times he proved his devotion to me by exposing me himself to danger on my behalf; but that's nothing to them—it's become a habit and a pleasure. When I left (stary Yurt) Nikolay stayed on there, and Sado used to go to see him every day and say that he didn't know what would become of him without me and that he was terribly bored. I let Nikolay know by letter that my horse was sick, and I asked him to find me one at (stary Yurt). When Sado learned of this he lost no time in coming to see me and giving me his horse, despite all I could do to refuse. After the folly I committed of gambling at (Stary Yurt), I haven't touched a card again, and I've continually lectured Sado, who has a passion for gambling and although he doesn't know the game, always has astonishing luck. Yesterday evening I busied myself thinking about my financial affairs and my debts and I was thinking how I should go about paying them.
Having thought about these things for a long time, I saw that if I didn't spend too much money, all my debts wouldn't embarrass me and could be paid off little by little in two or there years; but the 500 roubles that I had to pay this month were driving me to despair. It was impossible for me to pay them and at that moment they embarrassed me far more than Ogaryov's 4,000 had done previously. My stupidity in having contracted debts in Russia, and then in coming and contracting new ones here was driving me to despair. In the evening when saying my prayers, I prayed to God—and very fervently—to get me out of this unpleasant position. 'But how can I get myself out of this business?' I thought when going to bed. I already pictured to myself all the unpleasantness I would have to endure because of it, (how he take proceedings against me, how the authorities would demand an explanation from me as to why I wasn't paying, etc. 'Help me Lord', I sad and fell asleep.) This morning I received a letter from Nikolay, enclosing yours and several others. He writes: ('The other day Sado came to see me: he won your note of hand from Knorring and brought it to me. He was so pleased with hi s winnings, so happy, and he asked me so many times 'What do you think, will your brother be glad that I've done this'—that I've grown very fond of him as a result. This man really is attached to you.')
Isn't it astonishing to see one's wish granted like this the very next day? Or rather the only astonishing thing is the divine goodness toward a being who has merited it as little as I. Don't you think that Sado's sort of devotion is wonderful? He knows that I've a brother Sergey who loves horses, and as I've promised to take him to Russia when I go, he told me that I it should cost him his life 100 times over, he'll steal the best horse there is in the mountains and bring it to him.
Please get someone to buy a (six -barreled pistol) in Tula and send it to me, also a (musical -box) if it's not too expensive—these are things which will give him great pleasure.
(i 'm still in Tiflis, sitting by the seaside, waiting for good weather, i.e. money.)
Goodbye, dear Aunt.
Lev kisses your hand a thousand times.
Tiflis, 6 January, 1852
Dear Aunt [Tatyana Yergolskaya],
[---]
Today one of those things happened to me which would have made be believe in God if I hadn’t already believed in Him firmly for sometime.
During the summer in (stary Yurt), all the officers who were there did nothing but gamble, and for quite high stakes. Since it's impossible not to see each other often when living in camp, I was very often present during the play, but despite all the entreaties I refrained from joining in for a month. Then one fine day I jokingly placed a small stake—I lost; I did it again and lost again; I had bad luck; my passion for gambling for aroused, and in two days I lost all the money I had as well what Nikolay gave me (about 250 silver roubles) and on top of that 500 silver roubles for which I gave ea note of hand payable in the month of January 1852. I should tell you that near the camp there is an (aul) [Caucasian village] where the (Chechens) live. A young boy (a (Chechen)) named (Sado) used to come to the camp and play; but as he couldn't count or write things down, there were some scoundrels among the officers who cheated him. For this reason I never wanted to play against Sado, and even told him that he oughtn't to play because he was being cheated, and I offered to play on his behalf. He was very grateful to me for this and made me a present of a purse. As it's the custom of this people to exchange presents, I gave him a miserable gun that I'd bought for 8 roubles. I should tell you that to be a (kunak), that's to say a friend, it's the custom first of all to exchange presents and then to eat in the house of the (kunak). After that, according to ancient custom of this people (which hardly survives now except in tradition), you become friends for life and death: i.e. if I ask him for all his money, or his wife, or his arms, or his most precious belongings, he must give them to me, and I must fuse him nothing either. Sado made me promise to come to his home and be his (kunak). I went. After having regaled me in their own manner, he invited me to choose anything in his house that I wanted: his arms, his horse, anything. I wanted to choose what was of least value, and took a horse bridle mounted in silver: but he told me I was offending him and made me take a (saber) which is worth at least 100 silver roubles. His father is quite a rich man, but he keeps his money buried and doesn't give his son a farthing. To obtain money the son goes and robs the enemy of horses and cows and sometimes he risks his life 20 times over to steal something that isn't worth 10 roubles; be he does it, not from greed, but because it's the thing to do. The greatest robber is highly esteemed and is called (a dzhigit, a brave). Sometimes Sado gas 1,000 silver roubles, and sometimes he hasn't a farthing. After my visit to him I presented him Nikolay's silver watch and we've become the greatest friends in the world. Several times he proved his devotion to me by exposing me himself to danger on my behalf; but that's nothing to them—it's become a habit and a pleasure. When I left (stary Yurt) Nikolay stayed on there, and Sado used to go to see him every day and say that he didn't know what would become of him without me and that he was terribly bored. I let Nikolay know by letter that my horse was sick, and I asked him to find me one at (stary Yurt). When Sado learned of this he lost no time in coming to see me and giving me his horse, despite all I could do to refuse. After the folly I committed of gambling at (Stary Yurt), I haven't touched a card again, and I've continually lectured Sado, who has a passion for gambling and although he doesn't know the game, always has astonishing luck. Yesterday evening I busied myself thinking about my financial affairs and my debts and I was thinking how I should go about paying them.
Having thought about these things for a long time, I saw that if I didn't spend too much money, all my debts wouldn't embarrass me and could be paid off little by little in two or there years; but the 500 roubles that I had to pay this month were driving me to despair. It was impossible for me to pay them and at that moment they embarrassed me far more than Ogaryov's 4,000 had done previously. My stupidity in having contracted debts in Russia, and then in coming and contracting new ones here was driving me to despair. In the evening when saying my prayers, I prayed to God—and very fervently—to get me out of this unpleasant position. 'But how can I get myself out of this business?' I thought when going to bed. I already pictured to myself all the unpleasantness I would have to endure because of it, (how he take proceedings against me, how the authorities would demand an explanation from me as to why I wasn't paying, etc. 'Help me Lord', I sad and fell asleep.) This morning I received a letter from Nikolay, enclosing yours and several others. He writes: ('The other day Sado came to see me: he won your note of hand from Knorring and brought it to me. He was so pleased with hi s winnings, so happy, and he asked me so many times 'What do you think, will your brother be glad that I've done this'—that I've grown very fond of him as a result. This man really is attached to you.')
Isn't it astonishing to see one's wish granted like this the very next day? Or rather the only astonishing thing is the divine goodness toward a being who has merited it as little as I. Don't you think that Sado's sort of devotion is wonderful? He knows that I've a brother Sergey who loves horses, and as I've promised to take him to Russia when I go, he told me that I it should cost him his life 100 times over, he'll steal the best horse there is in the mountains and bring it to him.
Please get someone to buy a (six -barreled pistol) in Tula and send it to me, also a (musical -box) if it's not too expensive—these are things which will give him great pleasure.
(i 'm still in Tiflis, sitting by the seaside, waiting for good weather, i.e. money.)
Goodbye, dear Aunt.
Lev kisses your hand a thousand times.
Tiflis, 6 January, 1852
Aga jah, õige vastus.